Homelessness, Hunger and Hypocrisy Part II: Hunger

Wyatt has learned the words "I'm starving," and I'm sorry to say that he's learned them from me. I am one of those people who would rather be cold, dripping wet, or exhausted, than hungry. Yep, I'm one of those people who feels my insignificant hunger as though it is the end of the world -- I feel my blood sugar drop, my stomach rumble, and I get close to insane. I've learned to keep snacks in every purse, in the car, in my office .... and I've given up on ever doing a fast to detox or cleanse. Aaron and I tried a three day liquid fast once, when we lived in Alabama and I was reading Dr. Weil's 8 Weeks to Optimum Health. By the end of the second hour I was so hungry, just plain starving, that I gave up. The knowledge that I wasn't supposed to access food made me want it more than I would have, had I just started the day normally.

I've been thinking about hunger recently, in light of what everyone is so prosaically calling "this economic downturn," and a terrific hour of programming on NPR (which I have searched the archives for, to link it here, and can't find it!) a couple of weeks ago, focusing on the plight of soup kitchens who are facing increasing need with decreasing resources. I've been thinking about hunger, too, in light of a "treat" I bought myself recently, and that I've been feeling awkward and guilty about.

Every time I go grocery shopping, I budget in a small treat. The treat changes frequently: Aaron sometimes wants chocolate soy milk, Wyatt often wants fruit snacks, the other day I saw a perfectly ripe persimmon and brought it home for the three of us to share. I shop every 10 days or so, and budget the treat into meal planning expenses.

Well, 2 weeks ago I bought a treat that cost a bit more than usual -- I spent just over $12. on a small package of goat cheese, a beautiful jar of pumpkin butter, and a sleeve of salteen crackers. If you haven't tried this combination, and you're a fan of goat cheese, you have to try it .... seriously. That's a pretty expensive treat -- and its one that only I enjoy. Wyatt used to like goat cheese quite a bit, but his 4 year old palate isn't as sophisticated as his 3 year old palate was; and Aaron hates goat cheese almost as much as he hates papaya. So it was an expensive treat, and only for me.

As I hear Wyatt say "I'm starving," and hear NPR talk about true hunger, and hear myself worrying about the huge heating bill we got in the mail, while spooning goat cheese onto my saltine, I feel a bit guilty. We can afford it, yes - it only put me $2.84 over my budgeted $125. for 10 days (including the holiday meals). But, still .... just think of what $12 could buy in necessities, rather than luxuries! Ramen, apples, potatoes, bread, lettuce, sweet potatoes, onions, cheese .... $12 is a huge luxury - and a small bit of the necessary.

I don't actually believe in feeling guilty -- it doesn't do much good! I believe, instead, in doing better (when we know better, we do better, I hope). So, I've decided that, as long as we can afford the small luxuries of a treat with our necessary groceries, we can also afford to help those who are truly starving, truly hungry (in body and in spirit). I'll donate the exact amount of our "treats" to a food bank, either in the form of a monetary grant or an equivalent amount of food; and, our family is going to work with the Homeless Assistance Team at the United Church of Christ here in Des Moines, volunteering once a month to help end hunger here in the city.

That seems more effective and productive than trying to eradicate "I'm starving" from the language I use each day.